I know you aren't so very happy with Hugh. But..is it too much to ask for you to be civil? I love him, and I love you, and I just don't want any discord. I'm not going to let either of you go.

I just wanted to let you know that I'm back home with Hugh tonight. He showed up at my work today and we've talked things over and he's been honest with me. It's..we're making up, and we'll go from there.

Hey. Um, I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to be staying the night at Eddie's- I should be home tomorrow.

I hate this. Everything's supposed to be going back to normal, but it isn't. I just..I don't understand it. He loves me, and I love him. But we're not-

He doesn't trust me. Doesn't trust me enough to tell me why he thinks he can't propose, can't marry me. I don't..I don't mind waiting, but I just wish I knew why. And if he can't- hasn't- is there more that he isn't telling me? I thought we were honest, thought everything was just fine. So why did- dammit, it's not supposed to be this way.

Can I- would it be okay

Do you think I can come over for lunch tomorrow? I need- I need somebody to talk to.

Hey, love. We haven't hung out in a while! I was wondering if you'd like to do lunch or something sometimes and try to catch up?

He spoils me so. How could I have ever doubted?

You know, sometimes I meet a couple who has chosen me to plan their wedding and I haven't met them before our first planning session. And they've seen a few pictures and things about what I've done, but then I arrive and the first thing I see the woman do is look to my left hand to see if I'm married. Or engaged, I suppose. And I get the usual questions about myself, and occasionally the lady is forward enough to ask if I'm in a relationship myself. Because, apparently, if a woman isn't married, then how on earth can she plan weddings?

Of course, sometimes it works in my favor. And then sometimes they think that because I'm not married yet and I'm not fresh out of school-- and especially because they've heard my surname and know that my bloodline is pure, that I'm simply pining for my own wedding and will do everything in my power to get them the dream wedding that I'm not getting or may never have.

I'm not worried about getting married. I'm not.

But I can't help but wonder sometimes. I love Hugh, and I know he loves me. We wouldn't have stayed together this long if he didn't. But sometimes I can't help but wonder if just maybe he's still with me because he doesn't want to be alone, and I don't want to leave. And then I get annoyed at myself for even thinking that. I have no reason to doubt him, or us. It's been five years. I know we're in it for the long run, and I know that he's the one I want by my side for the rest of..well, however long I'm lucky enough to have him. And really, don't they say that marriage is just a piece of paper?

Only..I do want it. I can't help it. I watch all of these lovely, happy couples, and I help them get that perfect day just for them and I'm foolish enough to get just a little bit jealous. I shouldn't be. It's their day, not mine. And I'm...Afraid. Afraid that one day he'll decide he doesn't want me and then where will I be?

God, this is so foolish. If I think about it too much I'm just going to work myself up and I have work I should be doing.

Have I told you today that I love you?

Sally, love- let me know if you're available for coffee this week? Or lunch, perhaps? I have some things I'd like to look over with you-- I'm sending over invitation options for you to look at, as well as options for the reception!

Heyyyy Big Brother, I miss you. Think you can spare some time for your little sister? Lunch or coffee?